In my eyes

I’ve always loved to write. You could call it a passion. But it’s the only time, i can freely express myself. And it’s fun too. I hold all sorts of conversations on paper. But mostly, i just speak to myself, about me. When i’m faced with a situation, I argue it out on paper until i finally make sense of it and get a solution (or so i tell myself). When i’m extremely happy, i write it all down. When i’m sad and troubled, you guesed it… i write it down. So i’ve decided to take this a step further and have a blog where i can put down my words and my thoughts on life as i see it and im really excited about this. 4sheezy! But its never easy to pour out your heart to blank impersonal pieces of paper (or in this case web pages) and i’ve found myself having to write and re-write, and then think about it and finally decide that ‘i’m not gonna let the world know that’. So i erase it then decide ‘who cares?’ and write it all over again. 

I ran to my room. It was one of those days when everything was going wrong. My heart was heavy. I couldn’t stop the tears so i just let them flow. Then i decided to kneel down and pray. It was there, while on my knees on this day, this wonderful day, this day that i can never erase from my mind that God embraced me and said the words that i so longed to hear:

“Do not be afraid - I will save you.

I have called you by name. You are mine…

I will give up whole nations to save your life because you are precious to me

and because i love you and give you honour “

Is 42:1-5

For the first time in my life, i truly truly prayed. And for the first time, i knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that i serve a LOVING God. 

Many men have been taken in by the fallcy that a real man is strong, masculine, strong-willed and headstrong. That a strong man should never cry. That he should never show emotional or affectionate responses in public. That he should never admit to defeat or failure. These stereotypes however have been fostered by the father of lies (the devil).

God wants to take  your insecurities, blockages and fears and release you into the reality of all that he wants you to be. Time and again in scripture, we see Christ’s compassion. When Jesus saw Mary and her friends crying when Lazarus had died, He was deeply moved and He wept (John 11:33, 35-36). In the garden of gethsamene, just before His crucification, He faced up to his suffering with great anguish (Luke 22:44). When He saw Jerusalem, He came closer and wept over it (Luke 19:41-42). Jesus perfectly demonstrated that what we term ‘weakness’ is often in reality perfect strentgh. 

It takes a real man to be open and honest. It takes a real man to remove the mask and accept himself for who he is. So when life is a burden and you really want to let it all out, take a moment and just cry.. 

Dedicated to all the Kenyan men who wont let tears define their worth.